Don’t be Bitter, Baby

Let’s talk about how the impact of certain realities in your life have a way of shutting you down. How a truth about a situation or a person is exposed and surprises you just as bad as an unexpected punch in your face. Whether you’ve kept your guards up and held suspicions about things or whether you lived naively, the truth has a way of grabbing your heart and twisting it out of your chest.

And it hurts so badly. It could be an unexpected death of someone close to you, the news that the job you interviewed so well for was awarded to the other “ideal candidate”, discovery of an unfaithful spouse, a request for a divorce, or a report from the doctor of a serious medical issue. It’s anything that crumbles your hope, crushes your dreams, breaks your heart, and makes you bleed in so many ways.

Once you finally get out of the initial shock phase and realize that what you’re facing isn’t a dream and that you have to come to terms with this truth, you began to lament. And when I say lament, I mean you cry, shout, wail, grieve for weeks, months, and sometimes even years. You don’t know how you’ll recover from it. You’re lost as to where you should even start to pick up your life’s pieces.

You may run to the wrong things to recover, you may deny the effects of it on your life. You may lash out and fight out of pain because hurt people hurt people. And the whole time that silent killer is looking for something to feed off of so that he can grow and get a foothold in your life. The killer’s name is BITTERNESS.

But I admonish you… Don’t be bitter. Bitterness may not seem like a choice, but it is. No matter how long you have to deal with this situation, always fight against bitterness. Trade bitterness for the attitude that no circumstance can get passed God’s sovereignty. If it happens to you, God knew that you could endure it.

Think about it like this… Don’t take the bad things that happen in life personally. We’ll all get to a point when we want to ask God, “Why is this happening? Why me?” The reality is that life is destined to happen. Some people have more heartaches than others, but no one is immune to adversity and suffering simply because we live in a fallen world. Of course we’re begging for trouble if we live foolishly, but sometimes it doesn’t matter how good we are, we can still suffer an unheard of amount of traumatic life events, so again, don’t take life personally.

Ecclesiastes 7:15 I have seen everything in this meaningless life, including the death of good young people and the long life of wicked people.

Ecc 9:11-12 I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time. People can never predict when hard times might come. Like fish in a net or birds in a trap, people are caught by sudden tragedy.

We all have to deal with the consequences of death, evil, human nature, and imperfect people. The question is whether you’re resilient enough to trust God through life’s valleys enough to bounce back and be ready to fight for what’s rightfully yours. You’re cursed only when you accept the curse and don’t seek God to reverse it. You’ll suffer through life as a victim until you realize how much God loves you and let His perfect love cast out all fear. God meant for you to be a spiritual warrior where nothing can separate you from His love. So don’t be bitter. (Want to read more on Overcoming Insecurities? Overcoming Insecurities).

If you have bitterness in your heart, it pretty much means that you’ve let your issues get the best of you. You’ve silently declared your defeat in a battle that should’ve made you an overcomer. Bitterness festering in your life means that you let a victory slip by you that should have been a jewel in your crown. The good thing is that it’s never too late to overcome bitterness. You always have the choice whether you will accept bitterness and defeat or fight to obtain peace, victory, and authority over you’re the stronghold of bitterness.

Destined Initiative: If you are going through a situation right now proactively fight against bitterness. Seek God on His intentions through this test, gain spiritual perspective on the matter. What is God doing in this situation? What is he trying to accomplish in your life or through your life that will impact someone else. Our God speaks to us in the midst of storms and gives us peace through understanding purpose. The things we face in life come to make us stronger and more effective.

Be honest with God about all the details of how you feel and why you feel that way. You’ll likely sense God gently humbling you and asking you back “Why not you? What makes you think you shouldn’t go through hard times?” Because he who was without sin, undeserving, went through hell on our behalf.

Isaiah 53:4-5 Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins! But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed.

I will say, it’s ok to bring your complaints to God, but expect to be corrected by your loving Father. Rather than complain, pray the prayer that fits your issue to fight against bitterness. It’s perfectly fine to vent to God and tell him exactly hhow you’re feeling whether you’re hurt, hopeless, lonely, angry, and even bitter, but once you spill out all your emotions, tell God about himself. This puts your situation in perspective and in light of God’s power.

Pray for peace, joy, and hope through various sicknesses.

Pray for the person that offended you.

Pray that God helps you love your spouse unconditionally.

Pray for purpose in the midst of those horrible storms.

It’s ok to grieve for lost loved ones, but people of God don’t grieve like the world does. Pray for peace, comfort, and strength during the grieving process.

Ask God to help you passed negative emotions that victimize you.

Pray for the fruit of the Spirit to overflow in your life, because bitterness does NOT look good on you!